Topics include: networking  … the importance of small talk (and how to do it) … office politics … dealing with authority and change … time management tips … managing anxiety and stress … how to be a team player … accepting criticism and feedback …  and much, much more.

Examples from coaching clients are used to illustrate common employment challenges and how various techniques are applied in actual circumstances. This book is a handy reference that readers can refer to again and again for guidance on specific job-related topics.

The pragmatic recommendations will benefit individuals who are entering the workforce, as well as those who struggle to maintain employment, or who want to improve their performance and advance their careers.”

(Book description is from the Forward Motion website. Click HERE to read more about it or to purchase a copy.)

Is there anyone out there who has any information or advice for this mom and her son? Is there anyone else facing a similar dilemma?

(thumbnail image from hubpages.com)

“… I have realized myself that the biggest stumbling block for me to being reinstated in the workforce is not necessarily that I have been home raising my kids for the past 15 years, but the fact that I’m an Aspie (self-diagnosed female).

I’m originally from Europe (Germany) and at the time (2o years ago) I was able to land some nice administrative positions where I was able to just do my job efficiently and seemed to have been appreciated although in retrospect I know that people probably thought I was a little odd. Here in the US though, it seems that the social part is SOOOO important when it comes to landing and keeping a job, especially in this recession climate.

Let’s face it, for us Aspies it’s difficult. We know we are good and efficient but not everyone is comfortable with us not being ‘chatty’ and social at all times.

At the urging of my husband I got a Bachelor’s Degree, too (Business/Marketing Management). He thought that I would land a great job with this degree… my husband does not seem to get that it is especially difficult for Aspies to go out there and ‘play’ the role of a great conversationalist. That’s just not who we are…. I don’t want to pity myself… but let’s be honest, there is only so much you can do to appear normal socially.

I’ve somewhat managed to hide my Aspergers, but I have come to the conclusion that it is really not easy for us Aspies to find jobs out there. I feel that I have to put up a show every time I come in contact with people… so I rehearse, prepare in my mind what recruiters would ask me, fully knowing that Neurotypicals (like my husband) would probably wing this part of the interview…”

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Does anyone have any advice or questions for Aspie Lady?

Speak up, and while you’re at it,  share your own experience here.

Libraries are a tough field to break into – there aren’t many openings, and when people get positions, they tend to stay in them for life. Since then, he had a couple part-time positions in libraries, but had to give them up for different reasons: in favor of a position that offered more hours, or because he was moving to New Jersey to be with me and distance was a problem.

At my constant urging he would apply to jobs with counties or municipalities on the NJ State website. It seemed like it all paid off, when he was offered a full-time, well-paying job at the Atlantic City Public Library in January 2009. He really enjoyed his job, but he told me that it was often difficult for him to keep busy. He would be given a task, and then he would complete it, and he was uncomfortable with constantly running back to his supervisor, asking “now what?” He doesn’t know how to “look busy,” which is necessary for more jobs than people want to admit.

He was reprimanded for checking his personal email on the computer. He says he never did it again after the reprimand, but he also says that he didn’t know it was a problem, because it was common practice for everyone at the other libraries he had worked at.

Also, and this comes as no surprise to anyone familiar with AS, he is given to fidgeting. He also told me he got reprimanded for yawning at a meeting with a representative from a publishing company. And at one point, his supervisor asked him “Are you alright?”  That’s a vague question, and it could have been about anything from his mannerisms to his allergies. Nathan is a very good worker, he’s responsible, he’s conscientious, and he’s detail-oriented. Office politics are difficult for people like me who hate to “play the game” but he’s barely even aware of the game.

In mid-February, he was fired. He came home upset, understandably, with a letter that detailed his rejection. He was within the three-month probation period, so it was easier for the library to dismiss him. One of the reasons on the letter was that he was sleeping in the job. He tells me that at one or two points, he was in the backroom, where library patrons couldn’t see him, and he put his head down. They said he was sleeping on the job and that it was also a safety issue.

Now, I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t there, obviously. I do know Nathan, and I’ve known him since 1999. I’m inclined to think that he didn’t have enough to do and was fidgeting. I’ve known him long enough to know that it takes very little to cause him to feel restless. Even at home, when he’s in a good mood, he gets up from his computer, paces around, and returns to his computer. I have to wonder if he had put his head down and someone noticed at the wrong second. He knew well enough not to do that sort of thing on the library floor where there are patrons.

After he was fired, I urged him to contact his boss. He eventually sent an email telling his boss that he had AS, but he received no reply. I also urged him for months and months to contact the EEOC. He wouldn’t do it, because he was afraid of having to face the people who fired him, even though I said he wouldn’t have to. When he finally came around, the time to file had run out. It was late last December.

Something else that I think I should mention is that at the time of his firing, he did not have an official diagnosis of AS. He knew he had it. Anyone who knew anything about AS knew he had it. And he felt that at age 31, there wasn’t much use in getting an official diagnosis. In September of last year, we did end up going to Mt. Sinai in NYC and he received a free diagnosis.

It’s been over a year-and-a-half since he lost this job, and we’re still hurting. He hasn’t been able to get a full-time job at all (I’m sure the economy isn’t helping.)  He got to do some hours here and there for the Census and he did some work for a temp agency. (Another thing that fills me with rage is this: he had an interview at one temp agency, and he noticed that the paper they had about him said something like “a nice guy but not quite right.” He never got a call from that agency.)

Currently he works at Wal-Mart as a cashier. He went to vocational rehab a few times, but it was all a farce. I get the impression that they didn’t know what to do with him – he’s more educated than probably 95% of the people they’re used to dealing with. And I don’t know that they ever fill positions that earn the level of pay his education generally would earn. He went to the VR office a number of times, and it seemed like each time, he was sent home and told to think about “what he really wants to do.” He wants to be a librarian, and he is qualified to be a librarian. I don’t think that VR is capable of helping him with anything beyond getting a cashier position, and he got one of those himself (thanks to Wal-Mart. Target interviewed and rejected him).

He feels incredibly discouraged. He thinks that he was dismissed without fair warning. He says that if they had given him a “last chance” sort of lecture, he would have known to try to behave differently. He thinks that he will never get another chance and that he will never have another opportunity to make that kind of money or have such an interesting job ever again and that he will never be self-sufficient. Thinking about it makes my blood boil. Early this year, I sent a letter to the mayor of Atlantic City telling the story. I didn’t expect him to do anything, but I felt that it should be brought to his attention. I never even received a reply.

I want everyone to know this story. I know him well enough to think that his dismissal was underserved. For all anyone knows, when his supervisor asked if he was okay, that meant something bigger and he just didn’t read the cue. Or maybe it was nothing at all. Again, I’ll never know. Maybe the City decided not to fill the position after all, and they needed to find a reason to dismiss him. I have no idea. I still wish that he had agreed to contact the EEOC sooner. Or maybe it wouldn’t have helped, since he didn’t receive a written diagnosis until months after he was fired. Interviews are few and far between these days, but whenever he doesn’t get a job I have to wonder what the reason would be. I mean, all things equal, they will choose the guy who is better at eye contact and who doesn’t have a tic.

I apologize for the length of this letter. I am curious if there is anything that anyone can share or anywhere to point us that would be helpful. I assume that it’s too late to do anything about this, but I would like to know for sure.

“I am on the higher functioning end and have had people comment on walking slow, not being flexible enough, etc.  I would be glad to share how I got disability with a lot of patience, a lawyer, and the effects of our condition such as anxiety, depression, and fatigue. You have to have some detailed notes etc.  Once you get turned down you can get a lawyer at no cost up front -  comes out of lump sum disability payment.

I volunteer right now and would like to have a job but after years of not being able to hold on and my age, now it will be hard.  I am a dedicated and committed employee. It is just on the high functioning end.  People want to ask what is wrong and instead I get fired.  I got social security so I can have the disability protection that at the time could help me keep a job, due to past harassment from employers.  You have to stay the course.

Texas is not the best place for help.  I went to the re-hab folks and was told I was too old.  They cannot help.  I would be glad to share my process more,  that started when I was a kid.”

photo from www.autismparents.net

I have sought and received excellent career counseling but sadly found no career ideas with them.

One light is here: Socrates Cafe. For about 6 years now I have been facilitating two such groups and am told by the long-attending participants that I am especially good at it. What I do is ask good questions of people which results in good answers. I also make sure people don’t talk too much nor too little. And when someone is speaking I make sure they have fully expressed themselves before anyone else gets to speak.

No one does this for a living. Many skilled people do it as a part of their living (journalists — DO NOT ask me to cover a town hall meetings; managers — I dread the thought of disciplining employees, Chairpersons of the Boards — yeah, right) but because this is my “special interest”  I find any job that merely includes group facilitation to be uninteresting.

I would be thrilled beyond imagination if you can help me.