NORMAL? WHAT’S NORMAL? – An Autism Request
April 28, 2010
Gentlemen:
I am writing to you for help regarding our son who is now almost 40 years old. We have tried to get help/help him all his life, but there has never been a concrete diagnosis.
Our son seems to be a social misfit who cannot hold a job very long, has trouble with anger management, tells us that he thinks he is “by-polar”, has been evaluated and reevaluated all his life by counselors, pediatricians,University Psychology department personnel, school psychologists, has tried living on his own with NO success, and now is on the brink of moving back home with us because he just does not fit in society. He is extremely bright, is an audio learner, is a licensed security guard from college training but can’t hold a job in this field. He LOVES music, sings very well, plays piano, etc. Even though he has over 130 college units, he still does not even have an AA degree.
HELP! We are at our wits end, and because he is an adult, agencies usually will not even talk to us. He knows something is different with him, but he doesn’t know how to deal with the problem any better than we do.
He was also born with a birth defect called pupillary paralsis (not sure about the spelling) which affects his eyes. He is a right handed person who has taught himself to write left handed. He is extremely clumsy, lacking in social skills (eating in public is horrible—he is so crude), his walk is of a hunch-back when he is upset (which he often is—especially when he does not get his own way, or anyone confronts him), etc. I could go on and on for pages.
The bottom line is we would like to get ALL the help we can that is available for our son.
Would you please contact me with some sort of direction? This floundering we are doing is not helping any part of the concern we have for our son.
Thank you, in advance, for anything you may be able to provide.
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My heart is with you, really. I have a 21 year-old who was diagnosed at 11 and other than help with being able to obtain an IEP at school, I don’t know that there’s much difference. I bought a home on several acres, with mobile home already on it. He lives in the trailer. He has no control and makes no effort to. He threatens me, often. I can’t get through to him and as an adult, I can’t force him to admit he has a problem. He worked at the local Walmart for over a year pushing carts. As smart as he is, it was the best job for him. He never told them he had Aspergers Syndrome. He was fired for “inappropriate language”. His friend got him the job. Now he just simmers every day because he wants work but doesn’t want to face people in order to apply and an interview scares the crap out of him. I’m afraid he’s going to end up in jail and I don’t have a clue how to stop it. I hope you find the help your seeking. I sometimes wonder how there can be so much “knowledge” about this disorder and so little actual help.
Darla